8 8,

meditate
relate
hate
deviate
celebrate
contemplate
mate
satiate,

blackout in the annex got me painting by candlelight,https://www.flickr.com/photos/tessartessar/13884600453/

blackout in the annex got me painting by candlelight,

pass words,

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it’s really spring, i can tell by the way some friends have been getting good news-

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i’m fine,

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doin good,

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hanging in there,

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keepin at it,

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sometimes i get ‘calm before the storm,’ and ‘you need to hit rock bottom to rise to the top,’ mixed-up, are they related somehow? 

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talked to someone last night about work having legs- i imagined my work with legs, in people’s homes, in galleries, at the park- i’ve never really imagined my work with limbs, though i’m pretty sure at one point i’ve seen some paintings breathe, 

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chest heaves and deep sighs,

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past, present, past-present,

past-present, passed presents, past presence,

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you guys hear about the heartbleed bug? pretty sure i’ve had that one for a while now- WOMP WOMP, kust jidding- but not just kidding,

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recently realized putting faith in someone means nothing with just words, it’s participatory- i wonder how many times i’ve ‘believed’ in someone or something and thought i could exist outside of it- i wanna be more active in the lives of the people and things i believe in, 

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to leave a mark, 

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like rilke on the impressions of rodin’s fingerprints on his figures- every detail, however minute, is essential to the make-up of the greater whole- and that the whole would not carry the same weight without said things existing in the full range of meaning: purpose, error, intention, and success,

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-that last addition was me tho,

is there something i can hold as a reminder of this commitment?  a present type of presence? a talisman? a baseball bat?

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they say, ‘if you want something bad enough….

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-how does it end?

got some great news for the fall, stick around, check up on me, i’ll let you know details soon- i love you, bbs,

for most of my life, people have entrusted me with their stories: family folklore, their gossip, dreams, the mundane of their everyday- with time, i realize how all the little pieces of these stories fit together, how specific excerpts of lives and living i’ve encountered have actively combined with chance to create my own- 
the shit part of this is that i inevitably participate in, and accumulate the weight of ritual, pain, guilt and regret of things past, but these are the necessities of the larger narrative- and as much as i’m moved to build my understanding of it by listening, i know what a waste it all would be if i couldn’t contribute to it in its telling— 
however disjointed the parts may seem in their many guises- they come together clearly when there is effort to collect and watch patiently, 
i absorb and tell stories with my heart because after the cool, after the deflecting, we all know we must meet ourselves at night,https://www.flickr.com/photos/tessartessar/13551264414/

for most of my life, people have entrusted me with their stories: family folklore, their gossip, dreams, the mundane of their everyday- with time, i realize how all the little pieces of these stories fit together, how specific excerpts of lives and living i’ve encountered have actively combined with chance to create my own-

the shit part of this is that i inevitably participate in, and accumulate the weight of ritual, pain, guilt and regret of things past, but these are the necessities of the larger narrative- and as much as i’m moved to build my understanding of it by listening, i know what a waste it all would be if i couldn’t contribute to it in its telling—

however disjointed the parts may seem in their many guises- they come together clearly when there is effort to collect and watch patiently,

i absorb and tell stories with my heart because after the cool, after the deflecting, we all know we must meet ourselves at night,

art history lunchin’,https://www.flickr.com/photos/tessartessar/13546423555/

art history lunchin’,

(Source: wiseupto)

a drink called ‘binge’,

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winter really makes me feel like a creep, eyes on the prize, a chance to realize, writing poems and standing in the middle of a mess of papers and feeling like it’s no different than standing with your feet in melting snow, 

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wow, so poetic, so-po e-tic,

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i stood here and stared down the traffic line and realized at some point, it disappears-

thank you, brunelleschi- this world would be so difficult to understand without you,

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just kidding, things are still hard to understand- 

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perspective is a difficult thing in general,

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my daily feelings of hope in this terrible-terrible-sometimes-not-bad world comes from making things,

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and sometimes destroying it, thank god for f-arts,

when i can find room for it,

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(camera 1)

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(camera 2)

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q: what are you into these days?

a: OH, WELL, EVERYTHING AND NOTHING, AND I LIKE IT THAT WAY—-++++

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c’mon guys, letsugo SPRING!

'black and white' as a term of clarity, and my newfound consideration for building a literal and metaphorical home, has steered me in a direction to explore a monochrome interior representative of a space with allowance for limitless manifestation and formation, not unlike the different ways an idea or sentiment comes to fruition, or how a home is built and filled with things material and immaterial- the interiors portray the abundant and idiosyncratic ways we come to terms with our thoughts, hopes and imagination, by way of exploration and accumulation,http://www.flickr.com/photos/tessartessar/13270854563/

'black and white' as a term of clarity, and my newfound consideration for building a literal and metaphorical home, has steered me in a direction to explore a monochrome interior representative of a space with allowance for limitless manifestation and formation, not unlike the different ways an idea or sentiment comes to fruition, or how a home is built and filled with things material and immaterial-

the interiors portray the abundant and idiosyncratic ways we come to terms with our thoughts, hopes and imagination, by way of exploration and accumulation,

WHAT?
6 X 8”, 15 x 20 cm, mixed media on paperhttp://www.flickr.com/photos/tessartessar/13273249175/

WHAT?

6 X 8”, 15 x 20 cm, mixed media on paper

NUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNU AT THE SHOP,http://www.flickr.com/photos/tessartessar/12452540965/

NUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNU AT THE SHOP,